The Blerghs


The past few weeks have been a struggle for me. I’m struggling to deal with the turmoil in the world and the turmoil in my brain.

“Push & Pull”, the second book in “The Midwest Series” continues to be a challenge. I knew it, my beta readers confirmed it, and I felt unable to root out the problem and fix it.

Focusing as much as I have been on politics and the election is burning me out fast. Although I am passionate about my beliefs, too much focus on the news and the potential outcome of where this country will end up sapped my mental energy.

The recent turmoil in the M/M community hasn’t helped the problem. My only comment on it is to suggest you read this blog post. I think it eloquently addresses the problems and concerns many of us have and is a reasonable, reasoned discussion of the issue.

I spent last week nannying for my second cousins while both of their parents were out of town on business. In college *mumbles* almost fifteen years ago, I watched them a few days a week during the summers. They were wonderful kids and we had fun playing with trains and Legos, reading, and doing art projects. Now that they’re fifteen and eleven, they’re no less wonderful. The older one had to be coaxed to do homework and the younger needed some prodding to finish his cello practice every night, but I count myself lucky that that was the worst of it. Running them around to all of their after school activities and being sure I kept them on schedule, fed, and happy was time-consuming and challenging, however, especially for someone who is neither interested in nor cut out for parenting.

Of course didn’t help that I had to get up at 5:45 to make sure they got up and got ready for school. Or that their parents don’t drink coffee so I had to rely on tea, which is entirely inadequate. Unfortunately, it was made worse by the time change and by the time I got home Friday, I was ready to sleep as long as I possible.

None of these things made for a happy or productive Brigham.

I had planned to return to social media this week, but I found myself reluctant to log in. Apparently my brain decided it needed a break, so I decided to give myself that time and see if it would help.

The good news is, the funk I’ve been in is starting to retreat and this week I’ve written over 6500 words on a chapter for the series I’m collaborating on with a friend. We’ve been working on the two novels for several years and are nearly done with the second draft. It feels great to see our hard work beginning to come together.

I am sorry I disappeared without much warning, but the good news is, I’m back and ready to tackle “Push & Pull”!

4 thoughts on “The Blerghs

  1. Don’t you ever apologize for doing what is best for you. As good and admirable as it is to think of others, we can only do that if we’re okay ourselves. If you need time for yourself, you take it. (Do I hear a ‘yes ma’am’?)

    Seriously though. You have been through a lot over the past year and it was almost unavoidable that would come and kick you in the butt at some stage. Give yourself a pet on the shoulder for being on the way to feeling better again and give yourself permission to retreat again should you need to do so. As much as I missed, I want you to feel well more than I need to chat to you ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I like reading about the routines of writers. One practical suggestion, for the next time you need it. Morning Thunder tea (Celestial Seasonings brand) contains 56% more caffeine than coffee. I used to drink it during cram sessions in college, or when I had a cold and got goopy.

    Liked by 1 person

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